savior

Amanda Westlake

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1–2 minutes

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I was supposed to be the one holding everyone together.

I don’t know why I deemed myself a savior

except maybe I have a hero complex.

I sat in that room

with the diagnosis swirling around.

So now I had health problems too?

How could I take care of my mom when I too am falling apart?

/

Tell a young 20-year-old who’s never dated

that she probably can’t have children.

Tell a girl who never had a chance,

who always deep down has known she was barren.

It doesn’t matter, she supposes,

because she hasn’t ever dated

And probably never will—

But

Still.

Just knowing. It seems to put the dirt on top of the coffin.

/

Stop telling yourself you’re broken.

Even if you don’t quite believe it,

keep reminding yourself.

Don’t bury yourself when you’re still alive.

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