Here’s what I learned from not wearing makeup for 2 months…

I kind of accidentally sorta on purpose ended up not wearing makeup for 2 months.

Why did I do such a thing? Whatever possessed me?

1. I was insanely, deathly ill for about 3ish weeks around the New Year. On my deathbed, I cared not a wink about looking even remotely decent. Pajamas were my everyday uniform, and the only thing on my mind was sleep. Thusly, I ended 2024 and entered the New Year without a single finger-swipe of makeup on my cheeks. Recovering was slow-going, and I figured I had just NOT CARED about makeup for so long that I continued not caring.
2. It also helps when you have a cheerleader. My boyfriend said he likes when I don’t wear makeup! I needed someone to start me out with that reassurance.
3. I‘d been thinking about the health benefits for a while. I know that putting $7 Covergirl foundation on my face has to be a recipe for cancer in the future—my placid, doll-like appearance was not worth a possible future diagnosis. Additionally, I had a hunch that my skin just needed a break. Perhaps covering blemishes with makeup was only encouraging the blemishes to form—was I creating a toxic circle?
4. It just went with my free-spirit approach to life. I never really saw myself as a free spirit, but now that I have had agency over my life for so long, I’m noticing patterns that lead me to believe I’ve been a free-spirit-in-hiding all my life. I feel extra me when there’s not a barrier protecting my face from the world.
5. I wanted to work on my confidence in general. When I walk in a room, I’m tired of the comparison game. If I’m already starting at this not-wearing-makeup base, I already know I’m red-faced and freckled.
6. There’s also always this annoying desire rooted deep inside me to not be like other people. And while most women are wearing makeup, here I am…not. I know, super super annoying—but I’m telling you the truth!

So, now that I’ve waxed on about WHY I did this, let’s get to the actual meat of the subject.

What, if anything, did I learn?

Thought #1: I am more confident than I think.

Not wearing makeup has made me a lot more aware of how, when I walk into a room, I’m gauging what people think of me. But not wearing makeup has made me just not care.

To be honest, a lot of people probably think…Wow. Her face is red! Or they even simply think I look different than I did prior to the beginning of the year.

The thing is, though, I bet by now people have already moved on. I’ve been told before, and I find this to be true: people think less about us than we think they do.

And getting past that “What do people think of me?” question has made me infinitely more confident.

In fact, I feel I had a pivotal moment the other day. My boyfriend and I take a walk every day after lunch. The other day, it was raining during our walk time. Now, as a woman, you think hmmmmm…I’m literally going to melt. My hair will deflate, my mascara will run, my foundation will take on a whole other texture and become a Frankenstein monster set loose on the city…

But, because of this whole Makeup Experiment, I just didn’t care. I said, “Let’s go anyway!”

And yes, I came back looking like a drowned rat. And yes, I giggled to myself when I assessed the damage in the bathroom after. But you know what I also saw? I saw COLOR on my face. My cheeks were this vibrant pink, either from the cold or from the laughter. My eyes were sparkling, as were the tiny raindrop bits on my hair.

I actually didn’t mind how bedraggled I looked. And that was a great feeling.

Thought #2: Is makeup more for the female gaze?

I have a theory that I’ll be testing out over the next couple years. But I’m wondering now…is makeup more for the female gaze?

After talking to my boyfriend, it seems guys don’t really care if their girl is wearing makeup or not. She could be dolled up for a date or in her pajamas with a fresh face—but she’s still the girl they love, so they almost see no difference.

So, ladies…are we wearing makeup for the female gaze?

For a long time, I told myself I was wearing makeup for myself. And, to be honest, I do think that was true for a while. It made me feel confident and attractive. But times change, and now that I’m in my mid-20s my confidence is soaring.

Now that I don’t compare myself (as often) with the other women around me, I find wearing makeup not as big of an issue.

Is it us girls judging each other by our nails? Our skin condition? Our hair?

Thought #3: I feel so much more raw and authentic.

I touched on this, but it’s worth making a whole point. At first, I looked in the mirror and thought UGH. But now, I look in the mirror, and I say aha! There’s Amanda. It’s just me, being me.

I love that my morning routine is soooo much shortened. I feel like I wake up Amanda, instead of becoming Amanda (does that even make sense?).

Even if a friend called me last minute on a Saturday morning and said COME QUICK EVERYTHING AT TARGET IS 90% OFF! I could get there in about 20 minutes because my morning routine is much more basic.

Thought #4: I am making peace with how I look.

When I have extreme emotion, my face turns red. Why is that seen as a bad thing? It’s just an Amanda thing.

I’ve hidden my freckles too long. They made me feel like a fairy.

I have a birthmark on my neck—when I was younger, my dad said we could get it removed if I wanted. But I remember thinking that it was something uniquely Amanda, so why would I want to “fix” it?

These things need to carry more into other aspects of how we look: freckles are perfectly me. A red face is (unfortunately) perfectly me.

Most of my life, I’ve struggled with how I look. The more I read peoples’ stories, the more I realize that a lot of people deal with this. And the sooner we can make peace with it, the better.

I’m young. I’m in my ’20s. If I can’t love the way I look now, how will I deal with things like pregnancy? Health issues? Or even aging?

It’s time we make peace with how we look—and even how that changes, over time. Let’s be grateful for our bodies: the broken makes them beautiful. Celebrate what they can do. Nourish them and pray to God for healing.

And to think that all of this radical acceptance could begin with something as simple…

As not wearing makeup for 60 days.